The Dance

I measured my waist last night it was down 1 1/2" from 2 weeks ago. I question the accuracy of my measuring. I did it twice, feeling the tape around me without pulling it tight. If it had read bigger or the same I would have felt bad, why am I struggling to enjoy and trust the results? I do notice a change in my shirts fitting better, I think I was in denial that my clothes were fitting tighter. Presently results equal clothes fitting rather than becoming looser. I need to be here in the present and not looking ahead to the end. My sister shared an important video recently about life being a dance (rather than a journey that awaits the end), I need to enjoy the moments as they happen. When I dance I'm not considering a place to end  up, I am paying attention to, feeling, and responding to the current rhythm.
Here is the video:

Alan Watts - Why Your Life Is Not A Journey from David Lindberg on Vimeo.

My purpose: focus on gratitude, play along with others, and live in the moment.


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Last Monday I stayed after school to set-up and supervise the Senior concession stand. I was on my feet going up and down halls and standing until about 7:45 when I headed home. When I got up from the chair to head to bed I could barely walk. This is a common occurrence for me after a day like this. There is something about the way I walk when I'm preparing for something that is different from how I use my legs for a walk in the park. Maybe I tense up more, maybe it's the surface of the floor, the stress of the event or some combination of all of these. I have had this in the past (when I'm at a heavier weight) and the only thing that solved it was being at a healthier weight. It's like my legs are telling me, "we weren't meant to carry this much of a load." Currently it lasts all through the night (making for restless sleep) and into the next morning: the first 4-5 steps are next to impossible and then as I walk the stiffness lessens continuing to work itself out as I slowly walk. I am writing this down to document it as one of my current rhythms.


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Last night was good night I made a tacoless taco salad. We ate a little later than usual as I was blogging until about 6 (usually I'm anxious to eat at 4:30). I felt so great having the pleasure of writing to look forward to rather than just the evening meal.  I thought I would have something more later to eat after a lite dinner but I wasn't hungry so I went to bed. I've been getting to bed usually by nine and my stomach is ready for breakfast when I get up at 4-5am. This morning I had my favorite breakfast lately: 2/3 cup of oatmeal, 2 Tablespoons shredded cheddar cheese, covered with an over easy egg along with a half cup of coffee (mixed w/ half-n-half/1 tsp of sugar).