Mercy Year

Monday - I read in The Happiness Project (Gretchen Rubin) page 146 about ways she found that she could be generous: help people think big, bring people together, contribute in my way, and cut people slack. Day 67 of 100 Days to Brave (Annie F. Downs) encouraged me to stick with it whatever 'it' may be. I am learning to be content with less to do and having a slower pace, sitting with a book and reading it slowly. So much of what these two ladies say resonates with me. Contribute in my way which right now means protecting my time while being careful not to isolate too much is a puzzling line to draw. I often find my mind is sloshing back and forth between telling myself it is ok to be still and it's time to get off the couch. Figuring out the new schedule is tricky but I am grateful for the chance to try.

Tuesday - After listening to the When Strengths Become Weaknesses WorkLife with Adam Grant podcast I came up with a new description of this weekly blog (see below). Adam Grant specifically helped me with the idea of using strengths intelligently. He shared a story about how his analytical mind that is paired with the skill of winning people over was not being used well.  At the end of the story, the student who needed his help with a career decision called him a logic bully. She helped him to understand that she wanted to own her decision and he had overwhelmed her with so many rational thoughts she now could not make up her own mind. I have heard it said how strengths can be used to the point of weakness but I like this idea of keeping in mind how I am using my strengths well and being intelligent about them. Strengths not used intelligently can become out of balance. Other examples are being so empathetic you get taken advantage of or being such a good listening you never get heard. 

Wednesday - Regularly in my morning commute on country roads I used to drive in thick fog. It was difficult and scary but at least I knew the general idea of what was ahead and where I was going to end up. Lately, I feel like a fraud that somehow I've managed to fool those who think they know me into thinking I'm a productive and caring person when today I have mismanaged my time and mostly only thought of myself. I also feel like I'm getting through a time of life that reminds me of driving in a fog as I have a very limited view of what is ahead and sometimes this makes me feel insecure and unsure of what to do in the present. The fog is regarding my health and my career. Some may say I'm brave for walking at all but on days like today I just feel stuck, unmotivated, and so I eat and sleep and mutter to myself "I don't want to dust and clean". I don't want to do THAT chore why should I? 

Thursday - As I listened to Happier with Gretchen Rubin (podcast episode 344) I was struck by an aspect of the structure she and her sister Liz Craft have of assigning demerits and gold stars. As the women set intentions for themselves they review life with gold stars or demerits as a way to encourage and/or reset when necessary. Sometimes they give out the evaluations to someone else I want to implement this practice in my own life. Another topic that came up was the idea of Mercy Week. A week at the beginning of the school year (or any other stressful time could apply) when you allow for some things to slide as you are adjusting to the newness or whatever stress may apply. The example given was allowing tardies to young students who are adjusting to a new school for the first week as they are learning the way around the halls. I decided to allow myself a Mercy Year -- within reason. I need to build parameters, but I think this will help me cope with the foggy days. I still need help with what to do about my stubbornness when it comes to unpleasant chores that I could do such as dusting and cleaning out cupboards.  I shall plan to think on that for next week's Blog and share my intentions with you then. 

This week in Memes:

Confusion comes before Clarity

Struggle comes before Success

Frustration comes before Fulfillment

@drganatra (Instagram via my cousin Nancy)

New Blog Description as written in my Blog Settings (a work in progress):

My thoughts on life as I engage with and react to the world (YouTube, Netflix, Readings, Podcasts, Memes, books, etc). Furthermore, the weekly posts will include my thoughts as I aim to find life balance as I continually discover ways to ignite my strengths intelligently. Finally, I desire to intentionally strive to build connections as I invite others to join me so I may gain insights from their unique strengths in return. 

Gold Star this week -- Best class this morning for the semester all students were engaged and collaborating!

Demerit -- overeating to point that the scale has skyrocketed 

Thanks for reading,
Stay Well,
AmyBH

Humble Beginnings

 Monday -- Went to the Library and renewed the book The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I also sent an email to my husband with the links for ordering this book and The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown for my birthday later this month.

Tuesday -- As a way to wish myself a happy birthday this month, I went to the grocery store and bought (along with other normal groceries for the week) a box of german chocolate cake mix and the ingredients for homemade 'icing' for the cake (minus the pecans). That afternoon I baked, cooled, cut into roughly 24 pieces, iced, and froze separately. I also ate icing and at least 2 pieces -- I was very full of cake. 

Wednesday -- Took many breaks and came up with every excuse in the book to eat the pieces of cake (15-30 seconds in the microwave!). By the afternoon when I tried to read I was overcome with the need for naps instead. Once the cat was on my lap it was pretty much a nap free-for-all-- not my finest hours.

Thursday -- Listened to the podcast episode #301 Dear Hank and John (while showering/cleaning/walking) and was struck by their discussion from a listener question regarding the use of the phrase "I feel so humbled" when receiving an honor of some sort. This reminded me of a discussion my daughter and I had over something that happened in my life. 

Seven years ago I set out with an idea to start a community band and now that band exists without me. I mentioned that I felt humbled by this. My daughter was confused, wouldn't I feel the opposite because MY idea had been so well received it gained its own momentum? To explain I stated that I felt like I was a small player in a much greater 'scheme' of the universe and therefore I felt small in comparison. If you listen to the silly podcase above you will note that Hank and John continue to go back to the bit of poking fun at the use of the word humble throughout the episode and while I too find it amusing I also find the word very profound. 

In Season/Series 6 Episode 8 of Call the Midwife (spoiler alert) I was brought to tears over the storyteller's subtle way of using humility in the character Phyllis. In one moment seasoned elder Nurse Phyllis is humbled when her fellow midwife/friend does not choose Nurse Phyllis to care for her. Then, a few scenes later, we see her humbled again when with a much younger fellow midwife Barbara. Barbara chooses 'friend' (and roommate) Phyllis to stand up with her when she gets married. Phyllis was so taken back she came up with reasons why her young roommate should choose one of her friends. Barbara said I am --- I'm choosing you. How can Phyllis be humble in both of these instances?

Does the word humble fit both of these? I believe yes it does. Phyllis was brought lower when she thought she would be chosen and she felt lower when she thought she shouldn't be chosen. 

I am humbled on days I eat cake and nap and I am humbled when I have the energy to write and clean. I struggle and am humbled on Mondays when I have no ideas flowing for my Friday class and I am humbled when the idea comes and it seems so obvious. I am humbled by the idea of sharing my thoughts beyond my normal readership (close family) what would others say? would they be interested? would it touch a nerve or, better still, soothe one? 

Are there any examples you have regarding the unique use of the word humble? Maybe there is another word you've noticed that seems to contradict itself and yet holds true?

Thanks for reading,

Stay Well,

AmyBH