Bread of Life and Visualization

Last Sunday we celebrated communion and I decided that this would be the perfect time to make an exception to my no wheat rule. As I celebrated communion with the Bread of Life and the joining of hearts from the same loaf I felt this time was especially meaningful. A big challenge for me as I abstain from certain foods are during times when I partake in meals with other people. Communion or community is built as we all consume food from the same bowl, loaf, pan etc. We take something created by someone to eat and we let it become a part of ourselves sharing it along with smiles and conversation. It is a wonderful thing that is more than just calories. It is a time that creates a mood that I enjoy like sharing a pot of coffee with my husband each morning, it's not the same if I drink tea instead.

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Lately I find myself saying to myself "I'm taking a break from that for now" for example I'm taking a break from eating chips at the Mexican Restaurant and the rice that comes with my Chinese order. This is working well for me as I really don't want to talk about my decision, other than here. I want to just do my thing and move on with the meal and enjoy time with others. At the same time I don't mind talking about it as a whole conversation such as with someone else who also struggles similarly. I guess I just don't want to talk about too much at meal time, it will happen sometimes and that's understandable but I don't want every meal to be consumed with such talk about Amy and her eating etc. I would feel really uncomfortable with people planning meals around my somewhat complicated decision. I know I won't starve and things will work out. I may even make an exception for a specific meal(s) especially if we are eating in a small setting in someone's home.

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I'm getting a lot of positive practice in figuring out how to be viceLESS. Emphasis on the less as in less vice than before. Yesterday I spent a day at work and came home ready to eat as usual. I curved my appetite with tomatoes, pickles, and couple olives. When that didn't do it I had cucumber and a little plain yogurt with dry Ranch mixed in. The cucumber/yogurt was especially satisfying I need to keep those options around.

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I had recently bought a frozen vegetable mix that said it had whole grains. I had trouble reading the label but I think, after cooking it, that it had some whole wheat berries and a little rice. I wouldn't eat that normally but I went ahead last night and for lunch today. I was justifying that rice/wheat were not the primary things but I have since decided that from now on if I can see that there is rice or wheat (not a hidden ingredient such as in a granola bar) then I will pass on the dish. It's not a big deal and I'm really happy that last night after eating a I stopped rather than have a second helping as I desired.
I am also happy that I thought to mix it with some crisp lettuce that stretched the amount and helped me feel satisfied.

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I often have trouble being done for the evening. I want a little something sweet and I'm doing well with a little scoop of ice cream but I am countering with wondering if I can make any progress with weight loss by doing this. While my main focus is to have a healthy relationship with food I would also like to be a smaller size and have more energy. My past pattern is that small changes in my eating leave me with no change in size. Could it be that there is a change, a VERY slow change? We say hopefully a lot! I measured myself last Friday before bed and I plan to do that each week. This will be my guide. I was a bit discouraged by said measurement as it was the same as what I had gotten in early June. Size takes a while at this point in making a change. I really love the idea of making a slow but REAL change. What should my self-talk be? How about, "Amy good job on all the vegetables you are eating" "Amy, I really like the variety of foods you've been eating lately and how you aren't overeating at dinner" "Amy wow you sure are drinking a lot of water and I love how you rarely/never have soda or other sugary drinks" "Amy good job on packing your lunch for work yesterday and bringing a snack of pecans and raisins to supplement" "Amy good job on listening to your body and stopping your eating when you are satisfied, when was the last time you felt uncomfortably full? you can't remember? good job!"

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Visualization: I commented about this on the Self-Talk post recently. I am visualizing myself on the first day of meetings next week when the District is providing breakfast and lunch. I am imaging myself eating a little something before I leave (40 min drive) such as a little cheese/fruit. I am imaging myself packing a lunch and healthy snacks in case the breakfast and lunch choices are unacceptable at this time. I am imagining myself saying to my co-workers when I'm not eating a doughnut or pancakes, "I decided to eat before I came this morning" or when I skip the sub sandwich (if that's what they serve) "I think I'll eat something in my room later" or "I'm taking a break from bread for awhile" I am also visualizing myself at an upcoming picnic that my husband and I enjoy attending each year. I know what foods they'll probably have and I am going to skip some and really enjoy some others. I plan to enjoy their warm peach cobbler with ice cream (I will skip the bready part), I will skip the homemade potato chips but I will enjoy the coleslaw or other fresh salad. I will really focus on the conversation with the people I don't get to see very often. I will do my best to choose lots of vegetables and some kind of lean protein.