In yesterday's post, I mentioned that in my opinion, the teenage years would be the hardest to endure during a pandemic...but then I remembered one that I feel is way harder -- Expectant Parenting!
Surrogacy, was not the plan that Kelsey Nixon had for "growing a family" (her lovely phrase). Her plans first changed when she had a diagnosis that resulted in the premature birth of her first son, the loss of her second son in the first weeks of his premature life, and eventually the loss of the plan to grow a family through traditional childbirth. A source of continued deep sorrow.
A new plan included immeasurable joy when their 3rd baby, a girl, was born through surrogacy about 4 years ago. Last year Kelsey and her husband decided to pursue surrogacy, once more, with the leftover embryo from their daughter's procedures. Invitro fertilization often uses multiple embryos with the hope that one implants successfully. Kelsy's sister-in-law (husband's sister) had carried their first daughter and this time they found Megan. Mother of 4 who was willing to be the second surrogate. Megan had used home delivery in the past and was an acquaintance of the family.
I follow both of these ladies' Instagram accounts and found their daily updates especially engaging last fall when Megan was experiencing the countless injections and the long days WAITING, to take the pregnancy test. The success of the implantation was riveting, there were more injections, and eventually, the pregnancy was considered "normal". Kelsey shared the PLAN to have Megan induced in a hospital on March 28th. That was the PLAN until --the global Pandemic.
About a week before the due date, Kelsey, now living in the same town as Megan, shared her concern for Megan being alone during the delivery. Yes Kesley agreed with the difficult decision hospitals were making but it was just that, difficult. The weekend of the 28th, Kelsey and Megan's Instagram's were quiet. March 28th came and went and...crickets. April started and Kelsey made a few non-baby posts. Eventually, at the beginning of this week, Megan showed up asking for helpful tips for inducing labor. Later that same day Kelsey shared from her account the new PLAN --for Megan to deliver, with both sets of parents present, at home.
Meeting their newborn daughter in the parking lot was not a plan that either family was willing to pursue. Megan is more comfortable with home delivery and so a new plan was developed. Kelsey explained that for the surrogate the act of handing the baby to the biological parents is euphoric, Megan should not be robbed of this. Even though Kelsey had major reservations about birthing at home, [Megan, the surrogate, prefers home birth, she's done both] after much research, this is the current plan. Both moms are anxiously waiting for baby girl to introduce herself, whenever she plans.
These two families have taught me about selflessness and communication, they are setting an honorable example amidst frequently changing plans, a lesson that I hope I continue to heed passed this season of quarantine.
James 4:13-15Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.”
Three Recent Quotes
My elementary principal shared this thought from the day our district decided to close. 💓 (not sure of the source)
Who is "essential"?
"I'm not doing the work of my office assistant and office manager...I'm doing the work of my student workers." -my husband
My Parents
"Suck it up Kay, we'll get through this, we always do." -my mom quoting what she says my dad always saidStay well,
Amy BH
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