Dear Readers,
Journalist wanna-be
I enjoy playing games of make-believe in my mind. As I Blog, I pretend that I am writing future book chapters or magazine journal entries. The cosmic void or journaling without editing is valuable but for now, I am enjoying the thought of writing for something beyond myself and my own life. It also forces me to edit and perfect my writing more than I would if it was just for me.
Perfectionism is a word that often gets thrown around in a negative light. I found this WW video (link below) on 7 things I tell myself to get things done. Craig (aka Weezer Waiter) is very insightful and I like his connections with points 2/3 of this video -Perfect is the Enemy of Good. Some like WW, need to struggle with the two and go back and forth. Others of us gravitate strongly towards one and need to apply the other in order to either move forward (if you tend to be a perfectionist) or to keep striving for something great/better (if you tend to be a get it done/turn it in type --me!).
As I reflect on myself with perfectionism I believe in working hard to prepare, in being organized, and in editing my writing/emails/social media posts. That being said I am ok with letting others see my work in progress. I love the Lorne Michaels (SNL creator/producer) quote --“The show doesn’t go on because it’s ready; it goes on because it’s 11:30." This quote applies to so many things in my life: performing, getting my students ready to perform, and handing in drafts to my advisor.
While attending undergrad, I often pondered what it would be like to be on the other side of the Fine Arts building, where the visual artists studied. I spent much of my time preparing for a one time chance to perform a piece, nerves would inevitably set in during performances and this was often followed by disappointment when the 'best' run through happened in the practice room rather than on stage. I wondered, "what is the equivalent for the painter or sculpture?" "They know their work is going to be exactly as they set in the display for others to see....they never have to worry about nerves" this made me jealous. As I revisit this thought through the lens of perfectionism I have a clearer understanding of the artist's risk. It must be difficult to accept that or when the piece is done. Perhaps there are parts that are not as they had imagined and yet the deadline is here and they must have something to "show". I know my sister who makes beautiful quilts has said she sees all the mistakes, while the rest of us are admiring her art with awe. The worst would be the paralysis of perfectionism keeping one from performing or sharing their craft at all. This is something both musicians, artists, and doctors/scientists/economists giving their best analysis regarding how to keep the population safe during a pandemic share. It's a lot of risks putting yourself and your work out there. It is an exercise in vulnerability. Everyone experiences vulnerability in one way or another when they introduce themselves to someone, apply for a new job, get out on the dance floor at a reception, share an idea with co-workers/boss, or when they dare to try anything new. In short, my own perfectionism must be kept in balance. I also need to recognize that others that are sharing their craft are doing the best they can and respect their willingness to be vulnerable.
At the risk of repeating myself...
I have an uneasiness with repeating myself both here in writing and in conversation. There is validity in restating beliefs and stories. It is both comforting and confirming that who you are and what you stand for is reliable and unchanging. Not that changing your mind is bad -- it can be a sign of growth-- but you should know when and that it has changed --at least most of the time. In short, I want to share a blanket apology for if/when my posts in Bloggerland reach saturation and thus my examples, metaphors, and stories are in repeat mode. At times my thoughts feel fresh even though I may have said them dozens of times and other times they feel stale even though I've only thought about them in my head and never actually shared them with anyone.
As always, thanks for reading.
Stay well,
Amy BH
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