For the NEXT Pandemic...Yesterday (3/30) my school administration texted out to the district that we will remain closed through Friday, May 1. Later the teachers received an email regarding staying tuned for how we will begin online/distance learning. Let me start by saying, I would not want to change places with anyone who is having to make decisions such as the ones my bosses are currently making or have recently made. That being said, the critic in me has some negative thoughts and hurt feelings. When I play them out I realize I am actually thinking the opening phrase...next time. When I say or write that out it is ridiculous. My current feelings of hurt stem from my perception that I am not being valued. I counter that thought in my mind, in order to balance the heaviness, with thoughts that include "next time it would be better to _____ so we will keep in mind all stakeholders and therefore we can make better decisions for students". Processing the pandemic isolation is new for all of us. My sisters both directed me recently to Brene Brown's podcast [link below] who wisely suggests giving each other the benefit of the doubt. In other words, we're doing the best we can and that when things are new we need to push through --that this is one way we grow. Brene also admits "I don't do wobbly well" and that being new at something equals being vulnerable. She further explains that if we give up on this awkwardness of doing new things (like trying a new exercise routine, or food logging app), we risk halting our growth--- when we stop growing we start declining --instead, Brene suggests that we embrace the discomfort of exploration.
Life Lessons From Sigh-Reading --I was able to relate this to how I approach teaching and performing sight-reading music. Sight-reading is one of my favorite thing to teach (I also enjoy it as a performer)-- It is a next to perfect way of assessing what my students can do. For those of you who may not know, reading music for the first time or sight-reading is a category that is adjudicated for large group high school music ensembles (both instrumental and vocal) at state festivals. I did this with my band director in HS and now I teach it to my students. In our state (as was the case for my own HS experience), the director and students have 6 minutes to discuss the piece before they perform it at sight. No sound may come from the instruments during these 6 minutes -- not even a click of a drumstick. In the end, the groups are scored based on both their use of the discussion time and the performance that follows.
In the weeks leading up to this annual event I spend time preparing my high school students for both the 6 minute prep time and the music reading. During this preparation, I often say the following to my students:
"during the 6 minutes ask me questions or let me know if you notice difficult parts you may need help with --ask me things like 'are the trumpets the only ones doing this rhythm during these measures?'. I (as the director) am looking at all the parts at once so I'm not as likely as you are to notice where your part is difficult or that you're the only with that part-- so during the 6 minutes, let me know what you notice so we can try to prepare for that before we begin to play"
"keep going, whatever you do, don't put your instrument down"
"don't worry about what mistakes you make --
anything you get right is a celebration, this music is new--you have a free pass to 'mess up' "
"If 'all' you do is track where we are in the music --that's awesome...keep trying to jump back in...messing up and figuring out how to get back in is more difficult than not messing up at all"
Brene Brown defined power as "The ability to affect change and achieve purpose" --ie: "Embrace the Suck" [paraphrased]-
Brene Brown Podcast 3/20/2020 FFTs (warning --she curses sometimes)
Flute Plan -- Cecile Chaminade's Flute Concertino and Bach's Minuet in B minor are two pieces I am working on during this time alone. I decided I wanted to challenge myself to really work on something thoroughly rather than to just play through a bunch of stuff. These two pieces are very challenging and I have never performed them. I am going to work the measures slowly as I was wisely taught (and now teach others) to do, bit by bit, over and over. For me being a forever student of music creates greater empathy as a teacher.
No Deodorant --TMI?
Self Motivation Reflection --applied to healthy eating and activity levels--I have observed over many decades of weight ups and downs and mindful eating ins and outs that I tend to slowly decline and incline in my level of motivation. I am hoping to recognize the small declines early, adjust accordingly by increasing my accountability, and thus, avoid a full stop.
Monday Blues (still?) I was surprised by this yesterday 3/30...how is Monday any different than the weekend when I'm home every day? I defined this as coming somewhat from the limbo feeling of not knowing so much about what is ahead. If I knew this would end at ____ point I could make out my "plan" but that's not possible...instead my plan needs to include "staying flexible".
Waving--- As I frequently walk my dog these days, I notice people (both strangers and friends) are happy to look up from their own walks, biking, and cars to give a friendly smile and vigorous wave --it feels like more than just a wave --I interpret it as we are saying, "yes I'm keeping my distance too...I see you and I'm glad I do". I also, as mentioned in my list post, enjoy watching from both the back and then moments later the front window as I wave to my husband "good-bye" and he waves back each morning on his way to work -- Gerald (our 80-pound coonhound) and I do this together each morning. (Pre-Pandemic it's only Gerald who watches from the windows, or so I've been told.)
Thanks for reading.
Stay well,
Amy BH
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