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Mindful eating (and living) is a wonderful complicated challenge. There are times when there is a raging battle of whether or not to eat this or to have another handful of that. As hard as the battle is this is actually progress over the times when I suppress and ignore the part of my soul that is yearning for a healthy climate of living. During these times I freely indulge as I pretend that regret isn't waiting for me around the corner. Living free of regret is a possibility only when I act in a way that reveals my core beliefs. I want my core belief to be that I make mindful decisions about food choices. Is it possible to develop core beliefs? Another question for the cosmic void.
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I finished reading a thriller recently, The Girl on the Train -Paula Hawkins The main characters struggle with addiction, I can easily relate. The sense of accomplishment when I have made positive choices for a certain length of time, the repeated realizations of what poor choices lead to, and the constant crisis of belief of whether or not to continue making good choices today. It is always important that I continue to not let my past define me while still owning and growing from lessons I've learned.
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This has been a positive week, I have felt neither repressed nor indulgent. I bought a new top and pants last Monday -- I took two sizes of pants into the dressing room, I tried the smaller of the two sizes on first and they fit. I looked in the mirror and I liked what I saw: a woman with flattering proportions, with energy enough after work to go to the store for an hour, a woman who enjoys putting on a colorful top to gaze at myself in a full-length mirror.
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