The Void

 Hello Readers--

I was listening to John Green and his wife Sarah on Dear John and Hank (podcast) recently and they were talking about the process of creating and John shared something to the effect of "I enjoy having written more than writing." My takeaway from their discussion is -- often the act of creating involves a struggle of some kind, but once it is done there is a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. This conversation brought me the encouragement I needed to get back to the keyboard (and now that I'm editing the last proof it feels great!😉).

In my last two blogs, I simply shared the links to the podcast from my doctor's webpage. It is surreal to me that it can also be found in 'real' podcast locations such as this one Spotify Podcast Link (The Telepsychiatrist).  I have been feeling a lot of things as this has been uploaded. My mind wanders and wonders as to who and how it will be received and also how big of a listening audience it will reach and how long it will take. My December Blog posts got a lot more attention than ever and it caused me to feel a bit raw -- so much so that I stopped writing. I am finding much comfort in realizing I am not alone. My doctor said she could relate regarding the podcast -- she wants it to find an audience and yet when people respond she feels ill at ease.  A famous YouTuber Colleen Ballinger often posts about her own journey with depression and anxiety and recently she shared something like "I would never tell someone that in-person"  Colleen 11 minutes. She sort of laughs at herself because she realizes that with her large viewership this sort of worry is somewhat ridiculous - but nonetheless I can relate and therefore I'm sure she's not alone in her feelings -- as compared with other popular YouTubers like herself. I mentioned this dilemma to my counselor and I described it as putting stuff out into the void. Good Night Dear Void (You've Got M@il)  I am comfortable with the comments on Facebook (the void) but not when a random someone mentions it to me when they see me in person such as when I'm walking in the park. I think this will get easier as hopefully - I develop the words to say both in person and behind the keyboard. I certainly don't want to stop writing I enjoy it and I also have a compelling feeling to want to share in this setting.  

Responses to the podcast are as follows: I posted one response in the comments of my last entry 💗. My daughter shared with me that she really appreciated and was thankful that my doctor and I had 'found' each other she also wrote that the interview filled in some holes for her.  I heard from my Doctor that she has gotten responses such as  "she is so cool to open up like that," "I learned so much from listening" Yay!!!

Gold Star for the week goes to the college student I observe in the field. She is bravely playing the trumpet as she guides her junior high band students-it is fabulous!

Thanks for reading!

Stay well,

Amy BH