Redefining and Embracing

Hello Readers,

Redefining

It is a true blessing to have spent the last few weeks in maintenance mode.  While my weight/height ratio is still in the overweight range I am very pleased with where I am and how I am managing eating and movement. The weekly accountability check-ins with my sisters, my daily weigh-ins, my 2 days at 150lbs or more - log food consequence, and all the habits I have learned over the last year(s) are feeling sustainable and make me very proud of myself. I like how I look, I like how my body can move, and I like how the foods I eat make me feel. I also like that once in a while I eat foods like chicken skin and tortilla chips because I love these foods and they also make me feel good. While I am so glad that for the last 2 weeks I have not 'had' to log food I am trying to curve my mindset so that I don't view logging food as a punishment so much as a valuable tool that "I get" to use to help me stay healthy. Frequently when I was logging food every day last year I found the system to be very beneficial for helping me not feel guilty when I had fast food or a special dessert etc. I can get in my own head sometimes and fret about the smallest 'infraction' of eating when in reality I haven't even eaten 'too many' calories. While I still very much do not want to start over-justifying certain types or amounts of food that cause me to go over 150, I also want to view logging food as more of a welcome life-preserver rather than a punishing consequence. This new mindset is a work in progress. 

Embracing

Another thought cycle I am working on is comfort foods. I grew up in a family that cooked together, planned meals together, shared recipes, and almost constantly talked about food. Food was/is our family's main hobby and one that while we joke about it we also embrace it with pride. For example, we all joke about how a trough of popcorn is a more accurate description of how we inhale popcorn than the use of a bowl. When someone offers us a soup bowl of popcorn we give each other knowing glances and remark "that won't fill up my hollow tooth" (a phrase my dad taught us). Sometimes eating a large tub of popcorn is necessary and when I eat it I'm comforting my need for food and connection to those I love dearly and who live away from me. Over the years I have struggled with how to balance this need for food as a way of connecting with those I love while also staying true to viewing food for health. I realized this week that I don't need to choose. Connecting with others through food IS healthy. While I don't want to eat a full family-sized recipe of the homemade pudding recipe that my mom taught me when I was 10, feeling guilty when I eat this is not healthy either. Pudding fills my soul in various ways, I am grateful that my life is full of such examples of food and family and love, from here on out I intend to embrace this reality and lean into it. Food helps me connect with my amazing family, lucky me!

The following two videos' contents have inspired me and made me laugh (great medicine!)

April Lauren boldly and rawly shares her goals and plan for how she is working towards losing 200 pounds. Through watching some of her other posts I have found that her journey with weight is similar to mine. I appreciate the plan she has, it is also extremely impressive to see her willingness to share so openly. I am not too familiar with the contents from the channel Every Damn Day but I very much appreciate that when the influencer Al Roberts decided to review April's video he let her know and made sure she was ok with his approach. Al Roberts swears A LOT especially using the F-word. Almost 100% of his review is positive towards April's plan and yet his mood somewhat angry, it's the style he is known for, and [BE WARNED] may be offensive to some, I find it hilarious. My suggestion is that if you need a chuckle and don't mind a lot of cussing skip Lauren's video and go straight to his review. Both videos hold up on their own for encouragement and inspiration. 

Al Roberts review (lots of cussing) of April's video (see below)

April Lauren's reasons and plan to lose 200 pounds

Before I close I am posting a photo of me I recently found from April 2019, two months before I started logging food. I see happiness and confidence, I am proud of this lady.

Thanks for reading.

Stay well,

Amy BH